Childfree: Responses to the “Selfishness”

Hey all! Dee here!

I’m excited to get into this discussion today! This little play on words is something that just came to me one morning during a sweat sesh and I thought I’d sit down and write about it.

And don’t worry – of course Trex and I will be doing a podcast on this subject! Our goal with discussing this topic is not to get any feathers ruffled but rather to get the ūüźė’s out of the room so we can get to the fun stuff!

So let’s do it! We have found that the MOST common argument made against childfree folk is that we are selfish. Many examples of this are listed on endless blog posts and forums in which childfree people and parents spend time out of their day battling about these things. Ahem… who does that?? Anyway.. let’s get this out of the way so we can get to the things that add meaning to our lives!

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“People who are childfree just seem so SELFISH.”

Boom! A salty parent just verbally smacked you across your childfree face! What do you say to this unasked for opinion? Well, here’s your answer. I’ve thought long and hard about this.. wait for it…

____insert crickets__.

Okay, maybe you can’t go mute on a coworker or stranger, but when it comes to that relative who won’t get off your back… here are a few rebuttals to the “selfish poke.”

“I’ve decided to contribute to society in other ways. Maybe they’re not REPRODUCTIVE ways but in fact they’re PRODUCTIVE ways.” The real key here is to not be lying. That really helps with the delivery. My second tip is to wait for the response and to not feel pressure to have to list examples. What you’ve said is enough.

“I’ve found that my career has led me to the lifestyle that I don’t agree would benefit a child.¬†It would be irresponsible of me.” This is a good one for those who live an insane lifestyle. No one can truly shake¬†their head at you for being responsible.

“I, alone, am enough of a financial burden. I believe bringing a baby into a situation where I couldn’t properly provide for them is irresponsible. Having one right now,¬†regardless of my support capabilities, would be selfish.”¬†This one’s for those who absolutely can’t fathom taking on the $300,000 (average) of financial expense in the next 18 years, on top of student debt and cost of living. How on earth is this decision selfish?

___________________________________________ _Mcl

 

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